The Cabbage Thief
August 15, 2001. Cullman, Al.
The world didn't end with the Y2K bug. It just kept spinning.
INT. TRAILER - NIGHT
The livingroom is small, and young boys about 17-years-old fill it. They are gathered around a 27 inch TV watching NASCAR.
Johana, the only woman in the trailer, is coocking hamburgers in the open kitchen.
Melvin, the only man in the room, opens a Busch beer. He's built like an ogre. He has long black hair, a thick black beard, and a big black cowboyhat. He looks like a descendant of Rasputin.
Johana serves burgers to all the boys.
DENNIS
What's so intering about watching cars go around in a circle?
CHAD
The crashes. You never know when it's gonna to happen!
MELVIN
Yep! You boys keep ye eyes peeled. Member that'un that got ole Dale? Shoot. You never know what'cher liable ta see.
Melvin finishes his burger and lights up a Winston Red. He looks over at the boy (Derek) sittening next to him on the sofa.
MELVIN
(to Derek)
You seen that pile of cabbage up at Sweatman's farm coming in here?
DEREK
Yeah. That was a fuck ton. I bet those Mexicans sweat their balls off picking all that.
MELVIN
My ole horse loves cabbage.
DEREK
I bet she'ld go crazy for that pile up there.
MELVIN
How 'bout we run up 're and load ye truck up. Hell... They picked so much it won't make no difference.
EXT. POLE BARN - NIGHT
MELVIN
Go on! Throw it to it, dude!
A mountain of cabbage is piled up under the pole barn. Derek is fusiously throwing cabbage onto the bed of a 1999 Ford Ranger.
Headlights pass. Melvin eyes the passing car before returning his attention to the cabbage theft.
MELVIN
There ye go! Load 'er up!
EXT. TRAILER - NIGHT
Derek and Melvin pull into to the muddy driveway of Melvin's trailer. The truck bed is overflowing with cabbage.
Melvin hops out of the truck. He takes three heads of cabbage from the bed and holds them in his arms.
MELVIN
'Preciate it dude!
DEREK
What?
MELVIN
That's all I need. I'm good, fellar.
DEREK
What about the rest?
MELVIN
Hell if I know. You're the one who stole it.